The Schwulst Family

I don't need to say much about this family. Just that they are awesome. I love them to pieces. And when they asked me to do some family photos for them I was so excited. The whole shoot lasted maybe 45 minutes and it was so much fun. And did I mention their beautiful girls? Whom I adore? They are seriously great. Ok, no more words...just enjoy!

i totally loved these "accidental" shots of the girls getting ready

the darn humidity didn't help their wavy hair, we had to photograph quickly!

um, don't know what my deal was, but i loved this feet picture

a-dor-a-ble!

my fave from the day

beautiful rachael. yeah, she's only 15. watch out mom and dad!

i love beka...she totally reminds me of myself at her age...funny, spunky, energetic...

Thanks for letting me photograph your family, Schwulsts'!!!!

For information on booking your family photo shoot, go here.

Welcome to the world, Marvin!

I have been waiting for this day! I finally got to meet little Marvin. I've developed a friendship with Marvin's mom, Joanna, for the last two years. I met her in February 2008 at a medical clinic in the Hole, when her oldest daughter was less than a year old. There was just something about her that I loved.

Us at a different medical clinic, June 2008, after Darolin was born

Joanna was 12 when she "married" her husband Melvin. They waited five years until she was 17 to start having kids. Now... three years later, they welcomed their third child :)

seriously, look at his little hand

Marvin was born at 29 weeks gestation on August 28th. 2 lbs 9 oz. 13 inches long. crazy. He stayed in the hospital for about two weeks and came home a few days ago. Little miracle baby. I was terrified to hold him because he was still so tiny almost three weeks after being born, but of course, the proud mama insisted. She also let me know that her and Melvin talked about it and I am his Godmother. I was so excited. What an honor.

Just a little proof that God shows us the beauty of life even in a place like The Hole.

Arolin and Darolin, the new big sisters

proud mama

Perez Twins

I am finally posting the little photoshoot I did with the Perez twins last week. Their mom and dad, Jackie and Alan Perez, are on staff with G.O. Jackie is super creative and artsy so I always look forward to working with her cause we feed off each other so well. She had some great ideas for photographing the girls. Amelia was awake almost the entire shoot, Stella, not so much! But isn't that soooo twins? One awake, one asleep. One happy, one cranky. One hungry, one full. One laid back, one more energetic. Either way, we got some cute shots of them together (plus a couple with their beautiful mom!). Enjoy!

sweet little stella, already sleepy five minutes into the shoot

little amelia workin' her belly time!

yep, i want to eat her up too

proud mama, double blessed

sweet angels

well hello there, little beauty

my favorite from the day

Ruben-9 Months!

It's always fun to do portraits of someone other than your kids. My poor kids are going to hate me until the day they move out of the house. They will probably never purchase their own camera because I will have overused mine on them so much. Or maybe they will just be grateful that sometime when they are getting ready to get married, they can sit on the couch with their future spouses and look at the bazillion photos that I took of them. Either way, this train ain't slowin' down!

Today, I did get to photograph someone other than my own. Little Ruben is only 5 days older than Emi and his mother is on staff with Mike and I. His father is one of the Haitian pastors that work here in the Dominican. Together, they made a pretty adorable baby. We just did a little mini shoot (only about 15 minutes long) and he didn't exactly want to cooperate and give me smiles but we got a few. And man can he light up a room. Cute thing. Enjoy!

Photo of the Week-8/3-8/10

as we were closing our time at the river on saturday, one of the leader's of the college group from eastview christian church asked if there was anyone feeling prompted to be baptized. the spirit was moving.

one by one, young men and women began to step forward. twenty of them to be exact.

as they were being baptized i began snapping away, feeling like i was getting a front row seat to something so intimate. watching people be baptized is so incredibly moving. i didn't get a chance to get to know many of the kids on this trip throughout the week but as i sat there photographing this monumental moment in their lives it was as if they were sharing their stories with me.

about halfway through, this young man and young woman walk up. they were obviously a couple. as he began speaking it completely moved me. i began crying (as i feel seems to be a theme these days).

his words were so simple. he said their relationship before had been "dead and dirty" and because of god's saving grace and abounding mercy, they were standing there that day in the river, new creations. when they got down in the river he began to speak to her. too quiet for any of us to hear but as i took their photos you could see her face change. you could see how much she adored him and how grateful she was that she had a boyfriend that truly desired to be a man after god's heart. she trusted him. and as he submerged her in the river and she came up for her first breath...celebration. cheering and clapping rang through that place. an example of transformation and new creation.

Photo of the Week-7/27-8/3

although i feel like i'm running behind in all of my work, i actually wasn't running behind on posting the photo of the week for this week. it has just taken me a week to really figure out what it was about this one vbs that got to me.

i remember driving over to los guandules, i did not want to be going. i had a ton of stuff to do and i thought i had lined up someone else to help me photograph the vbs but it fell through. angry. frustrated. irritated. those would be the words to describe my mood walking up the steps to the church. not exactly the words i would want to describe my mood, ever.

as i reached the top of the stairs a cloud was completely lifted from me. i left the world of darkness and moodiness and entered the world where happy children play. to describe what i saw in words is nearly impossible to do. but words are all i've got. there was music playing, there were children laughing and there was dancing...oh yes, there was dancing. there was hand holding, and leg kicking, and booty shaking.

the light trickled in the windows of the church just right as to caress the little faces that were beaming with smiles. not like the kind of smiles with lips pursed and corners turned up...but the kind of smiles i dream of seeing here. squinty-eyed, cheeks gathered, teeth bearing, smiles.

as i'm typing these words now, a little chill runs up my neck and my eyes well up with water. it was that indescribable.

i literally kept my camera plastered to my face, not so much as to capture every moment of this incredible scene, but to keep people from noticing the tears streaming down my face. i've never really felt the holy spirit, in the moment, and known it was the holy spirit. but in that moment it was as if the holy spirit was standing next to me, speaking to me, whispering in my ear.

about two weeks ago, i started reading a book called, "90 minutes in heaven." it's not necessarily a book that i would recommend to everyone i meet. and honestly, the book itself wasn't all that impressive. but what was impressive was the man's account of heaven. i almost feel like god wanted me to read the book only to have the background of what heaven will be like so that when i walked into the church at los guandules that afternoon, i could feel just a little of what heaven will be. i feel i've come to understand that heaven's dancing and singing will be on a much grander scale but let me tell you...if it's only twice as grand as that afternoon, i'm ready to go now.

Photo of the Week-7/20-7/27

"I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them;

I will remove their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh."

-Ezekiel 11:19

tears rolled down her cheek. but she stopped to look at me. me and the big black thing that i put in front of my face and lug around everywhere.

i've decided that my camera has become a barrier in my life. something that keeps me from feeling emotion for the things that i see daily. i have the type of personality that can become very overwhelmed with hard situations. i cry a lot. not just a tear or two but like big crocodile tears. especially when it comes to kids.

i went through a period in my life not too long ago where i literally rendered myself incapable of emotion. not completely on purpose, but kind of. i wrote in my journal during that time and i said, "it's like i want to care, but i don't; it's like i don't want to care, but i do." sounds a little confusing, hey? bear with me.

sometimes its just easier for me to tell myself that these kids, the ones living with prostitute moms and drug dealer dads, don't have it all that bad. i try and convince myself, just so i don't really have to think about the things they deal with at the ripe age of three. because when i do, when i really think about the things they see, it devastates me. it keeps me up at night. it makes me feel guilty for how good my kids have it and for ever complaining that we don't have enough. it suffocates me and crushes my chest to the point of losing my breath sometimes.

i knew, when i took the photo of this little girl, she was the photo of the week. not because she's spectacularly beautiful (because she is) or because she lives in the pits of hell (because she does) or because she was bawling her eyes out and nobody held her and told her it was going to be all right (because they didn't). i knew because she is the epitome of what i run from, emotionally. if i just take her picture, i'm just a photographer. i'm just doing my job. but god calls us to have 'a new spirit' and change our 'heart of stone' to a 'heart of flesh.' that means even when you know it is going to hurt. though the bible says to guard your heart, it doesn't say anywhere to protect it from feeling pain. i think feeling pain and empathizing with other people's pain is where spiritual growth occurs. it's where healing begins.

i know i can get overwhelmed with feeling that i can't do enough for the people that live on this island. but rather than use my camera as a shield, i want to use it as a way to capture their lives and hopefully inspire others to go out into this world and do the one thing we are very capable of doing...loving others as Jesus loves us.

Photo of the Week-7/13-7/20

i remember growing up my dad was my hero. there wasn't anywhere i would have rather been than sitting on his lap watching a movie. we are just alike. we are hot-headed and passionate. we are impatient and caring. we are emotional and loving. we are melancholy and nonchalantly humorous. i also knew that no matter what came my way, my dad would be there to protect me and teach me, scorn me and love me, motivate me and encourage me. i thought everyone's dad was that way.

it wasn't until i got older when i realized that all dad's weren't that way. some were unintentional. some were demeaning. some were abusive. and some were just down right bad. and it wasn't until we moved to the dominican that i realized that a lot of dad's were absent.

i am not saying that it is culturally acceptable for a man to abandon his family, because that is not true. i have met and have grown to adore many of the dad's that i come in contact with on a daily basis down here. but...there is an underlying cycle in this culture, of men not taking responsibility for their children...to raise them well and love them better.

as vicious as the cycle can be, i always find hope somewhere amidst my most hopeless of days. that was this picture. the little boys' name is Junior. the man holding him was named Wes. Junior held onto him the entire time Wes was in his community. and just like Jesus' grace washes over our spirits and brings us peace, i saw this little boy rest his head on Wes' shoulder as the peace of being loved and feeling secure washed over him.

i was reminded once again that we can't be something to everybody, be we can be something to somebody.

Photo of the Week-7/6-7/13

Isaias was one of the first friends I made when we moved to this island. Back then, he was just a kid. Just graduated from college. Just figuring out what he wanted to do with his life. Even though I was three years older than him, it sounded a lot like me.

Four years later, Isaias has become one of my closest friends here. At the age of 26, I have watched him transform from a kid, to a pastor. From wondering what he wanted to do with his life, to leading hundreds of youth to the Cross of Jesus. God is using him to revolutionize this culture. Accepting those that the church would normally shun. Inviting those in who would normally be written off.

This weekend, I was a part of one of Isaias' visions. Cristo Urbano...Urban Christ. For the second year in a row, Isaias and his "soldiers" put on the Cristo Urbano youth conference with the help of one of Isaias' supporting churches from the States. Over 250 kids, all areas of the island, all walks of life. There was rapping and reggaeton. There were dramas and break dancing. There was praise and worship and serious talks. And I got to be the fly on the wall. Listening to conversations. Praising with them. Singing with them. Watching God transform a ton of young lives.

On the last day, Isaias was talking...like really talking. Spirit-moved words. The theme of the conference was "no soy un fanatico." or "not a fan." Changing from just being a fan of God to being a follower of God. And when Isaias began to speak about baptism and how it would be one way to show your commitment to being a follower and not a fan, I was moved. God prompted me. God spoke to me. It was time for me to be baptized.

I could go into an incredibly long story about why I haven't been baptized yet, but this post is about the baptism that took place in the photo above. Isaias' cousin decided to be baptized, right there in the pool. A bunch of us gathered around, Isaias talked about the purpose behind baptism and as we sang "Glory to God," he was baptized. It was incredible. And I cried.

It was the fruit of a work God started about four years ago.

Photo of the week - 6/22-6/29

this isn't the best photo i've ever taken. but my best work doesn't necessarily mean the photo of the week. i chose this photo solely for the subject matter.

little yajaira.

she is actually andre's sister. she's feisty. disobedient. excellent hugger. loving. nurturing. and she's got a bit of a twinkle in her eye. but the day this photo was taken, wasn't her best day.

we'd just gotten down to the hole and were about to feed the kids. i was chatting with felix abreu, the pastor in the hole, just wondering how the kids were doing. he said it wasn't that good of a day there. the police had been around all morning. i asked if anyone was taken. sure enough. the police stormed a house that morning, kids all watching in horror, as their dad was grabbed and escorted out. yajaira and andre's dad.

i immediately scanned the tables to find her, to see how she was doing. there she was smiling, hugging, playing with an american woman as if life was as normal as could be. i couldn't help but wonder about her. about her demeanor. did she really feel ok about what went down that morning? was life just like that, that it's no big deal to see your own dad dragged out of your house by a bunch of armed men? has she seen so many awful things in her seven or so years that a scene like that just doesn't phase her? or is she just so used to these things that, in her seven or so years, she's already learned to bottle it up? to push the hurt and pain, confusion and sadness, as far down as she can as to not feel it?

my heart ached for her. whether she was aching or not. that a little girl should see something like that and go about her day as if it were just a normal day. but there was hope after all that. she showed up at the feeding center, greeted by people who love her. people that were there only to love her and give her some attention. let her know that not all things end so painfully. that hope is revealed through love. and who else to show her love but the god who is love.

Photo of the Week-6/15-6/22

i know, i know. how dare i pick my own son as the photo of the week? but let me explain.

there is nothing more that i want for landon than for him to love Jesus. although i grew up in a christian home and had loving parents, i definitely chose a different road for a few years. that road was paved with nothing but heartache, pain, despair, loneliness, guilt, emptiness...i could use about 8,000 more adjectives but you get the point.

i don't want landon to walk that road that his mama walked.

so when i took landon to vbs with me because i was out a babysitter, i knew why God let it happen. this picture.

the team began to sing a song in spanish that i have known for probably more than 20 years. it goes, 'halle-lu, halle-lu, halle-lu, halle-lu yah...alaba señor (or 'praise ye the lord' in english)' landon loved the song. he sang it with all his might. he clapped and threw his hands up in the air to his creator. and this mama just sat there, mesmerized. i really wanted to bawl my eyes out, which i would normally do, but i just smiled and watched and listened as my almost-three-year-old praised our God. and that is why this is my photo of the week.

Photo of the Week-6/8-6/15

meet andre.

i haven't had the opportunity to get to know andre very well, other than what I observe. he's rowdy. he's rough. he's aggressive. he desperately needs attention. he is another little boy that lives in the hole.

how you can pray for andre:

-for him to grow physically and stay healthy

-for him to be a light in his community and take a different path than his peers

-for him to desire to learn more about God

-for him to learn to be sensitive and more caring towards other children

-for him to be able to grow up and witness to his family and neighbors who are not believers

-for him to not fall into the traps of drugs, alcohol and abuse that will be finding him soon

Photo of the Week-4/3-4/10

It's no secret that I love the kids from The Hole. They've wrapped their little arms around my heart and changed me forever. Normally, I post something on my little guy, Minino. But there's another little one that is making his way into the blogosphere.

His name is Simon. Almost four years ago when we moved here, Simon was pretty reserved. When all the kids jumped on the backs of the Americans, craving their love and attention, Simon kinda sat back and watched. Just like all the other "little guys" in the Hole, the big kids picked on him. But he's learned to fend for himself. A little on the angry side, angrier than you want a 6 year old to be, but totally sensitive at the same time.

Over the past year, I've seen a pretty good change in him. He would always give me a high five when I came to this place, but nothing to ecstatic. He's been fighting with kids less, crying less, loving more and best of all...he hugs me. The best hugs ever. Of course, I, being an obsessive hugger have been teaching him to hug, to love, with two arms. He would always give me one of those half-hearted, one-armed hugs. Totally not sufficient for some lovin'. But now, when I call out to my little Simon, he knows two arms, tightly wrapped around my neck is what I want. I don't have to teach him how to hug anymore.

Today, he was just sitting there. Hanging out. Eating an orange. I loved it. His dark little eyes, hiding a grin behind them. He knew before I walked up to him with my camera that he was a "photo opportunity." And there he sat, posing for me with his orange. Grinning a little. Hugging me with his eyes, instead of his arms. What an incredible journey we've been on. How both of us have grown over these last four years. I've learned so much from those little ones. How to love more deeply. How to live more freely. How to hug more tightly.